Supporting LGBTQI+ Students Starts with Listening: MHFA Strategies for Schools
“One of the most courageous things you can do for another person is to hold space for their truth.”
— adapted from Brené Brown
Listening as a Practice of Inclusion
Every day in schools, students are telling us who they are. Sometimes they do it through bold expression. Other times through silence. Behind the laughter, the anxiety, or the quiet withdrawal, there is a message: see me, hear me, know me.
For LGBTQI+ youth, revealing their identity or reaching out for support is not only brave. It can feel life-altering. The courage it takes to say, “This is me,” deserves a response that is grounded in respect and emotional presence.
This Pride Month, let’s return to one of the most meaningful tools in the Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) approach: the art of listening. Not just listening to respond, but listening to understand and to honour another human’s experience.
Why Listening Matters More for LGBTQI+ Youth
LGBTQI+ young people do not struggle with mental health because of who they are. They struggle more often because of what they face.
According to The Trevor Project (2023):
Students who experienced strong support at school were far less likely to attempt suicide than those who did not.
Over 70% of LGBTQI+ youth reported symptoms of anxiety or depression.
Only one in three felt their school affirmed their identity.
When a young person says, “I don’t feel safe,” or “I don’t feel seen,” our response can either build a bridge or deepen the silence. Listening becomes a form of care. It becomes protective.
What MHFA Teaches Us About Listening
At the heart of MHFA is the ALGEE action plan:
Approach the person and assess for risk
Listen non-judgementally
Give reassurance and information
Encourage appropriate professional help
Encourage self-help and other supports
Let us pause at Step 2. Listening non-judgementally is not just a technique. It is an act of emotional bravery.
Listening Is Not Fixing
To listen well is not to offer a solution. It is to create a space where someone feels safe enough to tell the truth.
It means:
Allowing silence, even when it feels uncomfortable
Responding with presence, not performance
Saying, “That sounds really difficult,” instead of “Here’s what you should do”
Trusting that being there, without needing to steer the conversation, can be the most generous thing we offer
For LGBTQI+ students, this kind of listening communicates something powerful: You are not a problem to be solved. You are a person to be witnessed.
“Thank you for telling me. That took courage. I am honoured you trusted me.”
What Not to Say — And Why It Matters
Even well-meant phrases can land with unintended harm. When someone shares their truth, they are watching closely for whether you believe them.
What’s Often Said:
“Are you sure?” —> Suggests doubt and undermines trust
“It’s just a phase.” —> Dismisses identity and questions validity
“We don’t need to label things.” —> May feel like erasure when labels offer clarity and affirmation
Try instead:
“However you identify, I’m with you.”
“Thank you for trusting me with this. How can I support you better?”
A Real-Life Moment: When a Student Comes Out
Jamie, age 14, tells you they are non-binary. They say they feel overwhelmed by being misgendered at school.
An MHFA-informed response might look like this:
Create a quiet space. Make time without distractions.
Let Jamie speak. Use their words, not your assumptions.
Respond gently. “It sounds like this has been weighing on you.”
Affirm them. “Thank you for being open. I’m here for you.”
Offer support. “Would it help if I spoke to other staff on your behalf?”
Respect confidentiality. Only share if safety is at risk.
These moments matter. They tell a student whether they can come closer or need to pull away.
What Schools Can Do — Beyond the Conversation
Support is not just one person’s job. Schools can intentionally create cultures of safety and affirmation.
Visible Allyship: Display LGBTQI+ affirming posters. Use pronoun badges. Include queer histories in lessons.
Language Matters: Use inclusive terms and chosen names as standard, not exceptions.
Safe Staff Members: Ensure students know who they can go to. MHFA-trained staff should be easy to find.
Ongoing Learning: Make inclusive mental health training part of the school’s DNA, not just an annual workshop.
Final Reflection: Listening Is a Form of Care
You do not need to have all the answers. You do not need to be a therapist or an expert on gender and sexuality.
What you do need is willingness. Willingness to sit with discomfort. To honour emotion without judgement. To trust that presence (kind, open, and consistent) is powerful.
In a world that too often says “You are too much” or “You don’t belong,” your listening could be the moment that says, You are exactly enough.
More to Explore
The Trevor Project – LGBTQ Youth Mental Health
Stonewall UK – LGBTQI+ Young Futures
